Becoming an adult
by Little Karma
Summary: Shuichi isn't feeling well, so he goes to the doctor and gets a surprise. Now, he's got to grow up a little fast and be the adult that he needs to be. Mpreg, shuichicentric cover by crystalrobot on deviantart.
1. the secret & Lyrics of resolution

I own nothing

ok friat warning** this is a _MPREG_** fic, so if that's not your thing then go ahead and hit the back button.

my first mpreg fic to tell me what you think

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Chapter 1: The Secret

Shuichi sighed as he sat down on the couch after coming home from work. He hadn't been feeling well all day. He turned on the TV and laid down on his side one arm under his head. The volume was low enough that he could hear Yuki typing in his office. He was slowly drifting off to sleep, to the drown of the TV and the keys clicking. He'd just rest for a few minutes before going to tell Yuki he was home.

Yuki pulled off his glasses pinching the bridge of his nose. He was getting a migraine. as he was pulling out a cigarette he glanced over at the clock on the wall he looked down at the clock on his laptop fast checking the time on there. 9:30, the brat should have been home 4 and a half hours ago. He stood up, leaving the office. He was going to need another beer if he was going to be looking for the brat all night. However he did not need to go any further then the end of the hall before he saw Shuichi asleep on the couch the TV on low volume. He went and sat down next to shuichi's head.

Shuichi slowly opened his eyes, slightly confused. there were fingers running through his hair, and his head was now resting on a firm thigh. He looked up sleepily, to see Yuki sitting there looking at him cigarette hanging in his mouth.

"What time is it?" he asked tiredly.

"10" Yuki said, "what time did you get home?"

"4" shuichi said closing his eyes again, with a small muffled yawn.

"Hmm, didn't hear you come in" he said his fingers stilling.

"don't stop" shuichi said softly, "I figured you would like a little quiet" he wanted to go back to sleep, but his stomach voiced it's objection to that plan. Yuki raised an eyebrow at the sound his fingers going back to weaving through the pink hair.

"Guess I better eat something" Shuichi said, "i don't want to move" he complained before slowly pushing himself up.

Yuki watched from the couch as shuichi went into the kitchen, and seemed to rummage around for a few seconds. He then reappeared with a bowl of cereal, he came back and sat down next to Yuki.

Yuki watched was shuichi ate before laying back down, his head in Yuki's lap again.

"You sick brat?" he asked looking down at shuichi.

"I'm just tired" he yawned, "will you just hold me, Yuki" he requested. Yuki placed a hand on Shuichi's forehead feeling for a fever. The brat had to be sick, he didn't feel a fever though.

"Please yuki" shuichi whined slightly. Yuki's lip twitched, there was the annoying brat he'd known and loved for the past 3 years.

"I have a deadline, go to bed" he said standing up. Shuichi whined watching Yuki go back into his office and shut the door. He grumbled walking back to the bedroom, he laid down.

Around 1 in the morning Yuki came to bed. He laid down looking at the shuichi. he sighed he was going soft, he grabbed the boy and pulled him into his side.

The next morning Yuki woke up alone in the bed. He pushed up groggily and looked at the clock, it was 7 in the morning...on a Saturday. "Brat" he called. He listened closely for any reply his ears picked up the sound of retching. He grimaced, he knew the brat had to be sick if he had been that quiet all of yesterday. He got up and made his way to the bathroom.

"Make sure you clean up after yourself" he grumbled at Shuichi. Shuichi looked up at him, looking a little green. He reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle setting it by the sink before he left the bathroom.

Shuichi whined softly before his head went back into the toilet. This went on for another half an hour before Shuichi grabbed the bottle of Pepto from the counter. He took a swig, before putting it back into cabinet. He walked out to the kitchen and made a piece of toast and tea. After all the microwave and toaster where the only things in the kitchen he was allowed to use. He ate it while sitting on the couch watching TV. He put his dishes in the sink, and went down the hall to Yuki's office. He slowly easier the door open, Yuki was sitting at his desk lighting a cigarette.

"Yuki, I'm board" Shuichi whined coming in.

"Go back to bed brat. You're sick" Yuki growled looking up at shuichi who was coming over to him.

"But, I'm not tired" he said crawling his way into Yuki's lap.

"I have work to do" yuki grumbled as Shuichi snuggled into his chest, and neck.

"Please, please just for a little while. We can watch a movie or play a game" Shuichi whined softly before nipping at Yuki's ear. He jolted slightly, putting an arm around shuichi.

"You are sick" he said, before standing Shuichi in his arms. He walked them back to the bed room and tossed him onto the bed. He walked back out and grabbed his laptop, and returned to the bed. He set up his laptop on his knees, back against the head board. He then reached over and pulled Shuichi against his side. Before going back to work.

"Yukiiii" Shuichi whined, his head on Yuki's shoulder.

"Go back to sleep" he snapped not stopping pouted staring blankly at the screen. Yuki looked over as Shuichi's breathing evened out

"Stupid brat" he muttered looking over at the clock, it was only 830. He could get a few more hours of sleep. He closed his laptop and set it aside before laying back down holding shuichi to his side.

After their nap everything seemed to have gone back to normal, for the next few days it became a rution. Shuichi would be sick all morning, demand Yuki give him attention, they would end up back in bed for a nap by 9, get back up and shuichi would be his hyperactive self. After 5 days of this shuichi called the doctors. He hated the doctors, which was why Yuki was surprised when he heard shuichi on the phone. The next day after Shuichi was done being sick, he came into Yuki's office and just hugged him from behind giving his ear a little nip before leaving for his appointment.

Shuichi sat in the exam room, looking at the posters on the wall. They had come and stuck him with needles 4 times already, they kept taking blood samples.

"Mr. Shindou, I don't know how to explain this but, the blood test come back positive. but I'd like to take a look before i tell you" the doctor said coming back in pushing in a machine. He had shuichi lay back and lifted up his shirt. After spreading a cool gel across Shuichi's lower abdomen he took the scanner and started to move it around. He stared at the screen, "Well I'll be damned, they where right" the doctor said. Shuichi looked at him nerves now.

"Right about what?" he asked in a panicked voice.

"Well Mr. Shindou let me be the first to congratulate you, you're pregnant" the doctor said

"WHAT!" Shuichi yelled looking at him with wide eyes. The doctor nodded pointing to a blur on the screen.

"See that right there" he asked and Shuichi nodded looking at it "that's you're baby"

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Chapter 2: Lyrics of Resolution

Shuichi looked at the bowl of ice cream sitting in front of him. It had been a month since his doctors visit. When he had come home Yuki had asked him what they had said. Shuichi in a panic had don't something he never thought he would do, he lied to Yuki.

He'd told him that it was just some bug, and they assured him that it wasn't contagious.

After Yuki had gone back to his office, Shuichi had faced a harder challenge. The medication and vitamins they had give him. Where could he put them where Yuki wouldn't see them. In the end he had decided that putting them in his shoes was the best. That way he could take them with him to work, and Yuki never bothered with his shoes.

Now, a month later here he sat thinking about something that had never really crossed his mind. Well it hadn't had the reason to until now. Did Yuki want kids? Would Yuki be a good dad...well shuichi was sure he would be but, that was only if he wanted a kid. Deep down he knew that he was scared that Yuki wouldn't want kids, that he would order Shuichi to get rid of it. But, shuichi couldn't do that.

So, here was the biggest question of all...did he stay or go? If he stayed he would have to tell Yuki, soon. He was sure the man would notice that is lover was gaining weight, if he hadn't already. But, if he left he'd have to take sure that every thing was set up for him to just leave. He felt tears gather at the thought of leaving, but oddly the thought of staying scared him more then the thought of being on his own.

If...no when he left, he would be on his own, as much as he hated to admit it, he knew Hiro would just come and yell at Yuki for being an asshole. And that would be counterproductive. He felt the tears roll down his face, he didn't know if he could do this all alone.

Yuki found him like that sitting at the table crying, with a bowl of melted ice cream in front of him.

"Brat?" he asked looking at shuichi, who quickly tried to wipe his eyes with his sleeve.

"Yeah" he said forcing a smile on his face as he looked at Yuki. Yuki raised an eyebrow at that.

"You hungry?" he asked after a minute, Shuichi nodded standing up and the bowl. He took it into the kitchen and washed it putting it away. Yuki watch as he, himself, pulled out the stuff to make a fish curry. It was one of shuichi's favorites, He had noticed his lovers reluctance to eat much the past few weeks. It was as if he was debating how good it would taste coming back up.

Shuichi sat on the counter watched Yuki work, he had long since been banned from cooking. He'd have to learn, he could live on take out once he was on his own. He nodded to himself looking up at Yuki.

"Yuki?" he asked waiting for the blonds response.

"Yeah" he said not looking up from the fish as he cut it.

"Can I help? I wanna know how to cook" he said looking at the man with puppy eyes as he turned to look at him with sharp eye, "I promise not to touch the stove" Yuki sighed, this was not a good idea. But he nodded anyway. Shuichi hopped off the counter and came to stand next to his lover, He was given a bowl of spices and told to cover the strips of fish in it as Yuki handed them to both worked on dinner silently until everything was done. Yuki had to say it was nice to not have to worry about the boy cutting himself or burning down the kitchen. Everything had gone smoothly. They both sat at the table eating, he almost smiled when he saw shuichi's face as he ate.

After the meal, Yuki decided he had done enough work for today. He sat on the couch with Shuichi, as they watched the news. Shuichi rested his head against Yuki's side. It wasn't until an hour later when the news was over and Yuki was feeling a little wanting, that he noticed the younger man was asleep and from the looks of it had been for some time. He sighed and picked him up going back to their bedroom.

The next morning, Yuki woke up to find his lover gone from bed. He looked around, and then heard the sounds of retching once again coming from the bathroom. He stood and went to the bathroom fast. Sure enough there kneeled Shuichi his head in the bowl.

Shuichi wanted to kick himself, he'd forgotten to take the morning sickness pill last night. And he was defiantly feeling it now, he started to cry. When he felt a cool cloth on the back of his neck. He looked up to see Yuki kneeling next to him.

"This the same thing?" he asked his hand resting on his back. Shuichi nodded before putting his head back in the bowl. Yuki sighed and pulled out the Pepto, he waited until shuichi stopped and handed the boy the bottle. Shuichi took it and took a big swig, before standing up.

They spent the rest of the day in bed, Yuki sat with his laptop while shuichi slept a little longer. Around noon he woke up, and let Yuki know this by nibbling on his ear. The Novelist gave him a look before closing his laptop. He made sure it was a safe distance from the bed. Before he pulled the pink pop-star into his lap and kissed him senseless. He flipped them over pulling back slightly, "You get me sick and you're dead" he said before going back in. The next few hours were filled with yells of pleasure from both men.

The next day everything was back to normal, Shuichi went to work, and Yuki locked himself in his office. Shuichi surprised every one by being the driving force to finish a CD early. K had promised 2 months off after the CD was finished. Suguru and Hiro sat down as they came out for the day, they only had one more song to go. Shuichi just hadn't written it yet. Shu sat at the table with a note pad scribbling away, if this was going to be his last song it was going to be good.

I can't look into your eyes

it will only make this harder

i'm sorry i can't be here

but i have to go

be on my own

Chorus:*

the tears will fall

as the baby cries

are they yours

are they mine

i know i've cried

but by the end

you look

you don't see

I've been here the whole time

but, now i'm not

and i wont be again

Chorus

Don't forget me

that's all i ask

for i know

I will never forget you

you were the world

but now...

now there's more to it

and...

Chorus

You'll see

my tears are really

your own

Shuichi looked it over rereading it a few time, before nodding. It was perfect, he scribbled down the title, More too it now. Before handing it to K. The blond looked surprised and looked over the lyrics.

"Well this is a change, i like it" K said handing Hiro, who looked at the page.

"Wow Shu this is really different" Hiro said he liked it, it was going to be slower, and have a bit more behind it.

"Do you like them?" he asked looking at Hiro, the guitarist nodded with a smile.

"Suguru and I will get to work on the arrangements, why don't you head home." Hiro said letting the teen see the lyrics as, shuichi bolted out the door.

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I wrote the song, so tell me what you think i'm a little iffy on it myself.

OK so there are the first two chapters please telling me what you think. but remember be polite.

also looking to a beta for this one so any one who's interested


	2. a new life

OK, so here's chapter 3. tell me what you think

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**Chapter 3**: A New Life

It didn't take them long to finish off the CD with the new song. When Friday came around, all of Bad Luck was ready to take a much deserved break. Hiro gave Shuichi a hug before they split, shuichi heading back to Yuki's. When he got home he sat down at the table with his own Laptop, he had gotten it a few weeks ago. When Yuki had asked, Shuichi said he wanted to play with the music on his own sometime and it was easier do to with a computer.

He had found an apartment in Kyoto. It was away from Tokyo and all the way across the city from the shrine so there was no way he was going to run into any one that might know him. He had found a doctor there that was willing to keep his secret, and make sure he stayed healthy and Yuki teaching him how to cook. It had been slow going at first but eventually the blond had come to expect the pink haired man next to him in the kitchen.

Shuichi was right now looking at the sight on Baby names, he wasn't sure weather or not to give this baby an American name or just stay with Japanese. He was making a list of all the names he liked:

Eirian~ Welsh-Bright, uni

Erin~ Irish-Irish, girl

Yuna~ Japanese-kindness, girl

Yukiko~ Japanese-child of Yuki, girl

Yudai~ Japanese-brave, boy

Symphony~ American-musical piece for orchestra, girl

Layla~ Arabic-night, girl

Lee~ English-field, uni

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He looked at the list, there where a few strange ones on there, but he liked them all a lot. Layla was one that he really liked, but he would have to think more on it later, it was getting kinda late. He and Yuki had had dinner bout 3 hours ago. Shuichi got up from his spot at the table and closed his laptop. He walked over to where his shoes and pulled out the pill bottle with the morning sickness pills. He took 2 and then hid the bottle again.

As he head to bed he poked his head into Yuki's study, seeing the novelist starring at the screen with a cigarette, he smiled softly.

"Goodnight, Yuki" he said softly. Yuki looked over at the doorway his pink pop prince was standing in. He nodded saving his progress and fallowing after his lover to the bed room.

He couldn't explain it but he had the feeling that Shuichi wasn't going to be here much longer. He kept telling himself he was being paranoid. He knew the man loved him. He couldn't shake the feeling though. Maybe the doctors had said something more, that he wasn't sharing. Yuki stripped off his cloths not bothering with night cloths. Shuichi was laying on the bed, looking almost asleep cuddled up in one of Yuki's button downs, from the pile on the floor.

Once he was under the covers he pulled Shuichi closed to him. The smaller man curled into his chest, and Yuki wrapped both arms tighter around him. Although he could never manage to say it out loud, he loved him...more then anything. He didn't know what he would do if he ever lost him. He glanced down at the sleeping shuichi.

"I love you shuichi" he said kissing the top of his head before letting sleep take him.

Yuki did not sleep through the night though around 2 in the morning, he was awakened by Shuichi whimpering from some sort of nightmare. He held him by the shoulders.

"Brat wake up" he snapped

***dream***

_Shuichi was sitting in a yellow sunny room in a rocking chair. He looked down in his arms as a tiny little baby, with a tuff blond hair, and piercing gold eyes. A tear rolled down his cheek. She looked so much like him, how was he supposed to do this all alone._

_He rocked her until they both fell asleep. When he opened his eyes next though she was no where in sight, and the room felt cold. He stood up fast looking around the changed room, slightly. He started to move things in a panic to find his baby. When he didn't find her in the room he moved on to the rest of the house. He must have searched the whole house, half way through starting to cry, begging for her to come back to him. When he opened the only room that he hadn't searched the bathroom attached to his bedroom. The minute the door was all the way open he screamed in horror at the sight that greeted him._

***end dream***

Shuichi shot awake with a scream tears pouring from his eyes and sobs from his mouth. He screamed again as he felt arms wrap around him. Once he realized that it was Yuki, who just kept telling him it was a dream, he was right there, and he was safe, he threw his arms around the blond, sobbing into his shoulder.

Shuichi couldn't get it out of his head, the image was burned into his mind. When he had opened the door to the bathroom, Yuki had been laying on the floor an empty pill bottle next to him. But that wasn't what made Shuichi scream, in the tub under the water was a small strawberry blond boy. He wasn't moving, the bathroom was still. His first instinct had been to go to the child, not Yuki.

Shuichi tightened his arms around Yuki. That dream what told him something...he would always choose his baby over his lover. And it helped to cement that fact that he needed to leave, and he needed to do it soon.

"Tell me what happened" Yuki said softly, running his hands up and down the boys spine. He was turning into a sap, a few weeks ago he would have just thrown the boy out of bed.

"It was a dream, that's all it's not important" Shuichi said softly into his shoulder. Yuki raised an eyebrow at that. Normally if he ever asked him to share anything he was in for a long haul.

"Tell me" he said again this time being a little more forceful about it. Shuichi sighed and snuggled closer to him.

"Please yuki, it was just a stupid dream" Shuichi said closing his eyes. He gave in and just laid back down the other man still in his arms. Yuki fell asleep about a half hour later, shuichi though laid awake, he had to leave...today. he wasn't sure his resolve would last if he stayed much longer. But, for right now he was content to lay in his lovers arms for the last time.

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The two remained like this until around 7. Shuichi couldn't hold still any longer, and honestly he was surprised that he had been able to hold still for almost four and half hours. He may have drifted in and out of sleep a few times but he never fell back to sleep. Shuichi had to get up, now.

He went to the bath room and got dressed, as he packed a small bag leaving most of his stuff here. He looked at the shirt he had been wearing, it was Yuki's...he put it in the bag. Once he was packed he gave Yuki a kiss on the lips, being sure not to wake him. He placed a note, telling Yuki everything and a demo CD of More too it now, on the table. He left the apartment tears rolling down his face as he headed for the train station.

"I love you, Yuki" Shuichi said softly before boarding the train

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ok so tell me what you think, and as always be polite.


	3. finding out and resolve

ok so this is a shorty, and i mean really short but i wanted to give you guys something. Enjoy

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**Chapter 4:** finding out and resolve

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Yuki woke up around noon, he groggily looked at the clock. He then looked around for Shuichi, and listened for him. He couldn't hear anything. He made a round through the house looking for Shuichi. He wasn't there, his eye caught something sitting on the table. He walked over and saw a CD, and an envelope. He quickly, pulled out the contents of the envelope. He read the note:

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_Yuki,_

_I know you're probably confused. And I'm sorry to do this to you, but I'm leaving. It's not anything you did or you didn't do, it's all me. I love you so much...love you enough to not screw up your life in the worse way possible. _

_I know you're staring at this wondering what the hell I'm on about. Well, you see Yuki...we have a miracle. I'm pregnant, and I love this baby...our baby. I know I know, you probably think I've gotten myself into something or am confused or something of the sort. Well, I'm not please believe me. But I know you would never want a kid. And as much as I believe you would be a great dad. I know it's not the life you would want. _

_So, I am sorry, but I'm taking this choice from you. Please don't be mad, and don't look for me. Live your life the way you should, be happy. Remember I will always love you. _

_Shuichi Shindou_

_PS- I don't know why, but I left one of the ultrasound pictures with this. I don't know what you'll do with it. But, I thought maybe you'd like to see your son or daughter.

* * *

_

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_

Yuki read the tear stained letter through a few times, before he looked at the photo in his hand. It was a blurry black, white, and gray picture. It had a small section was circled. That was his baby...his baby, shuichi was having a baby with him. But, now he was gone, and their child with him. Yuki fell to the floor tears gathering in his eyes.

Shuichi made sure his hat as down on his head as he made his way down the street to where his apartment was. As he had asked furniture was all in, the only empty room was the one that would be the nursery. He wanted to go and get the crib and stuff on his own, and paint the room. He wasn't sure what colors he wanted though, he would have to go looking. Looking at the clock on the wall as he entered with his grocery bags. He decided to have dinner. And then dye his hair, his natural pink was just to easy to pick out in the crowd.

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Shuichi unpacked the bags putting things away. He had started having strange cravings, like wanting yuki's favorite cereal...it was good but normally he didn't want it, or the fact that he couldn't stand celery normally he loved it, in fish or with peanut butter. But not now even the sighed of the green evil made him run in the other direction. He decided to make fish curry. As he worked he turned the radio on and listen to the music, he smiled as he heard In the Moonlight come on, and softly sang along tears rolling down his face.

"I miss you Yuki" He said softly as the song ended. He really wanted to run from the apartment and get on a train back to Tokyo, or call the blond to come get him. But he couldn't, Yuki deserved a life that he wanted. Not being stuck with a kid. He had to stay strong no matter what.

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ok so tell me what you think, like i said this is going to be Shuichi centric.


	4. check ups, icecream and jobs oh my

ok so here's the next chapter i tried to make it a little longer to make up for the suckage of the last ones length.

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**Chapter 5: **Check ups, ice cream, and jobs oh my

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For the next few months Shuichi lived off the saving account that he had set up with all his money. While it was quite large, he didn't want to live off it until it ran out. He wanted to get a job, maybe if he had something to do in the day he wouldn't miss Yuki so much. Although he probably hadn't helped his case missing Yuki by started to listen to Yuki's books on CD. True they were morbid, and sad. But, in a way Shuichi felt closer to the blond man then before when he listen to the novels.

Shuichi, had finished decorating the room for his little bundle of joy. He'd decided to leave the walls white and had placed rainbows and clouds all over the walls. He was showing now, but was carrying rather low, and since he had taken to wearing baggy cloths no one could tell he was pregnant, or pudgy as they would assume a guy was. He pulled on his gray sweats and pink and orange top. They where snugger then the rest of his cloths but they where nicer. And considering he was going to job interview after his appointment, he could deal with having to keep a sweat shirt on or something.

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Yuki had searched, he'd called every one. Including Shuichi's parents only to find out they had disowned him when he came out. Leaving Yuki to wonder what else his lover hadn't ever told him about himself. The others had helped for a while, bit now at 5 months missing the others where dyeing off, even Hiro. Yuki took a long drag from his cigarette, staring at the framed photo of he and Shuichi, he had been taken back stage of one of the brats concerts. Something inside Yuki broke, he stood up and grabbed the picture, throwing it across the room.

"GOD DANM IT SHUICHI! HOW AM I...suppose to protect you if I don't know where you are" his voice cracking in the middle the search had taken its toll on him. His stress levels were maxing out. He had call Mizuki and said he was going on sabbatical. His Publisher had been furious at him, yelling that he still had a dead line to meet. But he hadn't cared hanging up on the woman.

He fell to his knees coughing, he looked at his hands seeing red on them and on the floor in front off him. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered the sound of the front door opening and closing, foot steps coming over to him. And yet he still jumping when someone laid a hand on his shoulder, he looked fast hoping it would be Shuichi. His hope was shattered when he saw it was only Tohma, who was looking at him in concern. He hated that look, it normally meant that the older blond was about to lecture the younger one.

"Eiri this is not what Shuichi wanted for you" Tohma said softly, "he wants you to be happy. He left so that you would not have to face the stress of a baby, as well as himself. He was being a responsible person for onc..." Yuki cut him off standing and shoving him away.

"Don't you dare speak about Shuichi and what he wants. You don't even like him, you'd be just as happy if not happier if they fished his body out of the river." Yuki yelled at him, his eyes filled with fire.

"That boy only brought more stress into your life. For once he was doing the right thing, and you don't seem to care about his wishes not to be found." Tohma said

"Shuichi left because he was pregnant with _**MY SON OR DAUGHTER**_" He yelled at him, quickly realizing what he had done. Never once around any one can called the child his, in fact most of them thought he really only wanted Shuichi and was willing to humor the boy so that he could have him.

"Eiri, you have never wanted a child. Why now suddenly do you want one" Tohma said his ever calm back in place.

"Because now that it's possible, it means that's one more piece of myself I can share with him. I may be the worst father ever, but I deserve to know my own child, and have the man I love" he hissed though clenched teeth "now get out" another wave of coughs racked him as more blood spilled from his mouth.

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Shuichi sat reading one of the magazines in the waiting room for his doctor's office. He couldn't wait, today was the appointment where he had decided he wanted to know the sex of his baby. He couldn't wait to see what he was having. He looked up putting the magazine down as a nurse called him back. He was left in the exam room to wait for his Doctor once his weight and temp where taking.

After what felt like an entreaty to the man his Doctor, a woman named Mary Sakito, entered. He liked Dr. Sakito, he had believed him the minute he had said he was pregnant and looking for a doctor to treat him and keep it quiet.

"Hello Shuichi are you excited" she asked with a smile, as he pulled out the ultrasound gel. Shuichi nodded as he laid back, she pulled his shirt up.

Shuichi couldn't help but shiver at the cold gel, as it was spread across his stomach. Sakito took up the Scanner and slowly moved it around his stomach. They both looked at the screen.

"Oh, there she is" Dr. Sakito said pointing at a part of the screen.

"She? I'm having a little girl?" Shuichi asked getting excited now

"Yeah, and everything here looks good for 27 weeks." She said printing out a copy of the picture for him. She then hanged him a towel so he could clean himself off. She grabbed her measuring tape and had Shuichi stand up, she took a quick measurement and nodded writing it down in his chart.

Shuichi left the office about 20 minutes later. He glanced at his watch he had some time before his interview, and his little princess had decided butter pecan ice-cream craving was in order. Shuichi got off of the train in the section of the city his interview was in. He found an ice cream parlor and ordered his ice cream. as he walked eating he took in the environment of the neighborhood, he started to notice a few things their where same sex couples all over the place. ((think like the Castro District, i have no idea if such an area exist in japan)) He smiled at a few couples as he passed them. they all nodded back, Shuichi stopped outside the book store he was interviewing at and finished his ice cream cone.

After making sure his appearance was in order he entered the book store. It was small but cozy. He liked it right away, it felt comfortable. Walking up to the front counter he smiled at the elderly woman that was manning the cash register. She smiled back at him.

"Hi, my name is Shuichi. I have an interview today" he said looking at her. She smiled wider at him.

"I'm Sora Nataki, my husband and I own this store" she said coming out from behind the register.

" Very nice to meet you ma'm" he said bowing.

"Please have a seat. While I go get my husband" she said motioning to the small table in the corner. Shuichi sat down watched how everything seemed so calm. How everything was in order. He smiled, he liked it here. Now he really hoped he would get the job here. Shuichi became lost in this thoughts until the woman returned with an elderly man. Shuichi tried to stand fast it was awkward getting up when you where almost 7 months pregnant. Shuichi noticed Sora looking at him strangely and smiled at her sheepishly before bowing to the man. And introducing himself by first name only, he didn't give out his last name to any one unless he knew he could trust them not to go blabbing.

"I am Fuji, please sit back down" he said smiling, he liked this boy. Sora was right he did remind him of his daughter,Yuna. they went through interview and by the end of it they where both sold on having Shuichi work in the store, he was so much like their daughter the original owner of the store.

"You're hired" Sora said, "I'll show you around and we'll go over what you'll be doing" Shuichi stood slowly fallowing after her as Fuji went to watch the register. As they walked through the store Sora noticed small things about the way Shuichi acted, as well as how he held himself. After about an hour they sat down to talk, the first thing that came out of Sora's mouth she could have kicked herself for.

"When are you due?" she asked, what she had observed made since her in mind for a pregnant woman. Her eyes got wide as she turned red. Shuichi stared at her wide eyed, for a second before smiling softly. He felt a maternal bond with this woman, something he had never really felt with his own mom. He rested his hands on his stomach.

"In about 2 months" he said softly watching her face. Now it was Sora's time to look wide eyed. She then broke out into a bright smile.

"That's wonderful, you're boyfriend must be thrilled. This isn't something you two probably ever expected" she said happily. Shuichi looked down at the word Boyfriend, she saw this and reached over placing a hand on his shoulder.

"He doesn't want kids" He said softly, "told me early in our relationship."

"Oh, honey he'll come to his senses" she said moving and hugging him. Shuichi nodded liking the feeling of having someone care about his happiness.

Shuichi left for the day, after Sora had insisted on him having Dinner with them. It had been good, and they had had lots of fun just talking. He walked towards the subway to head home, he stopped sort though when he thought he heard someone call his name.

"Shuichi?" he looked back to see who it was now sure he had heard his name, his eyes went wide as he saw who had called to him.

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ok so there it is tell me what you think, and who you think he's run into now? if any one guesses right I'll put their name at the beginning of the next chapter


	5. Wishes

ok, so here is chapter 6. and correct guess goes it

**Yaoifangirl89**, but thanks all the reviews and readers

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Chapter 6**: Wishing

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Ryuichi had been buying some candy from one of his favorite candy stores in Japan when he had seen a flash of purple. He looked around thinking he had seen his friend Shuichi, as he looked he saw a man with black hair that looked a lot like Shuichi. On a whim he called out to him. The man stopped and looked around, the minute Ryuichi saw the face he knew he had found him.

"Ryuichi" Shuichi said turning pail, he was happy to see his idol. But, this meant that Tohma would know where he was in a matter of hours...or at least where to look. Which in turn meant Yuki would know...actually Tohma wouldn't tell Yuki where he was. Shuichi brought a hand to his head he was started to confuse himself.

"Shu-chan, we've been looking all over for you" Ryuichi said bouncing up and down, Kumagoro in his arms. Ryuichi noticed how Shuichi looked at him, his mind changing. Ryuichi's eyes narrowed some as his tone changed and his serious side took over, the younger male needed another adult right now.

"Come on Shu, lets go talk" he said calming placing a hand on his shoulder. Shuichi looked at him with side eyes but nodded, letting the older singer lead him to a coffee shop.

As they entered Ryuichi lifted his hat slightly so the owner could see his face. He ushered them into a private room, with Ryuichi's thanks. Once they were seated Ryuichi looked at Shuichi who was holding Kumagoro close to him as if it where a baby.

"Shuichi...are you ok?" he asked worried for his friend. No one had seen him in 6 months. Shuichi's attention snapped to Ryuichi, seeming to come out of his daze.

"Yeah I'm fine, Ryuichi" he said giving him a smile.

"Then what's on your mind, you're deep in thought over there" Ryuichi said giving him a smile as well.

"Its just...You can't tell any one you saw me, Ryuichi" Shuichi said looking at him with desperate eyes.

"What why?" he asked his eyes narrowing more. Had someone hurt Shuichi was that why he was hiding?

"I just...i don't want to be found, Ryu-chan. Besides Yuki doesn't need to have to worry about a kid" Shuichi said.

"Shuichi, every one is worried about you. Mr. Yuki more then anyone" Ryuichi said looking at the young man before him.

"Just please don't tell anyone" Shuichi begged, his eyes wide looking as if he was about to cry. Ryuichi sighed and nodded with a goofy grin.

"I want to know a few things though" Ryuichi said his eyes going predatorily. Shuichi gulped, ryuichi could be just as scary as Yuki or K when he wanted something.

"Ok, what?" he asked swallowing again.

"I want to see where you live, and your new phone number, and where you work" Ryuichi said bouncing up and down in his seat going back to his childlike self. Shuichi sweat dropped and nodded. He pulled a notebook out of his bag and wrote down the information. Ryuichi snapped it up, looking it over.

"Just please don't tell anyone" Shuichi said standing up.

"All right, see you around" Ryuichi said watching Shuichi leave.

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After Ryuichi had left the shop he had wondered around with Kumagoro thinking. He had promised Shuichi not to tell anyone. But, he told Tohma everything...they were best friends. He also knew though that Tohma didn't really like Shuichi, because he was with Mr. Yuki.

So, Ryuichi didn't know what to do, for now though he'd keep his promise to his friend. Shuichi would find his way, he knew it.

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Shuichi headed home, he had a lot on his mind. And to top that off now someone knew where he was. Ryuichi was his friend but, the childlike man sometimes was a little lose lipped around people. Tohma for instance, if he asked the right question Shuichi was done for.

Shuichi sighed and went into the kitchen right now he wanted chocolate puffs with strawberry ice cream, and sushi. He pulled it all out and made his plate and bowl, before going and sitting on the couch. He flipped through the TV channels until he settled on some cartoon about pink bunnies. It made him think of Ryuichi and when he might see the older man again.

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Yuki laid in the hospital bed, after his little shouting match with Tohma, the older blond had insisted on taking him to the hospital for his ulcers. The nurses seemed to think he was rest well for the night. it was not the case, for the past few months he'd been having dreams of Shuichi and his baby, some times it would be a little boy with his eyes and Shuichi's hair. others it would be a little girl with Shuichi's eyes and his hair. he would dream of family outing they would take, picnics, doing homework at the kitchen table. Him sneaking them off while shuichi wasn't paying attention to go get ice cream. Lately though the child had stopped changing in appearances, it was now always a girl with his eyes, and hair but with light pink highlights in it. Tonight she had been 4 or 5 years old and he had been holding her as he read a book, as he thought about it, he as pretty sure the book was Dr. Susses Oh the Places You'll Go. He could here her voice ringing clearly in his head, "I want to see the Picture Daddy", or "Daddy where is Timbuktu?". Right before he had woken up she had said something that he was sure he would always hold onto, "The only places I want to go are the places you are Daddy".

He felt the tears roll down his cheeks.

He had never really given thought to having kids, he got board with bed partners to fast. And then the one he found he never tired of and even loved was another man, in all that children had never been anything he saw himself having or even fathomed. But, he fond now that he knew a kid was coming that would be part him, he wanted to be with it. He wanted to be there for the first breath, first day of school...hell he even wanted to be there to hold them when they got sick.

He looked at the clock, it was just past 2 am he felt the need for a cigarette. He slipped out of bed and walked through the hospital and up to the rough he pulled out a cigarette as he looked up at the sky, and all the stars. As he lit his cigarette, he saw a shooting star, normally he wasn't one for superstitions but why the hell not with this type of night.

He closed his eyes, 'I don't want to miss a moment of her life'

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Across Japan Shuichi was looking out his own window and saw the same star, he smiled resting a hand on his stomach, 'I want her to always know she's loved'

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Both men smiled as they opened there eyes thoughts focused on the daughter they would share. One on the life he would have with her, the other on the phantom that would forever haunt him until he had her in his arms.

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ok so that's this chapter tell me what you think


	6. what if's and would haves

ok so here's the next chapter enjoy

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Chapter 7**: what ifs and would haves

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Shuichi eased himself into bed that night wearing Yuki's button down. He looked at the picture of the two of them in the park and smiled. It was the only one he had kept in this room, the three other's he had and a copy of this one where hanging up in the nursery.

He missed having another body in bed next to him. He curled up more, a hand resting on his swollen stomach. He smiled feeling the baby kick against where his hand was resting.

"Hey, you it's sleep time. Not exercise time" Shuichi said looking at his stomach. She seemed to calm, and he smiled.

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Yuki had made his way back to his bed, and had drifted in and out of sleep the rest of the night.

Around noon Mika and Tohma showed up. Mika sat down in the chair next to his bed, while Tohma remained standing.

"Eiri, how are you feeling?" Mika asked

"I'll be better when I am out of here and looking for Shuichi" he bit out

"Eiri, the boy is _gone_" Tohma said, "you need to move on"

"Tohma get out" Yuki growled at him, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"Eiri..." Tohma started

"I said get out, I want to talk to my sister not you" He growled at him. Mika placed a hand on Tohma's arm motioning for him to leave the room. Once he was gone and the door was closed Yuki looked at Mika. She was probably the only person that could come close to understanding what he was feeling.

"Eiri...what's going on with you?" Mika asked, "And don't just tell me you're worried about Shuichi. I know it's more"

"I can hear her. When I'm a sleep all I dream about is her" He said softly

"Who?" Mika said her mind quickly going to their mother, Eiri had been very close with her before she died.

"My daughter...i don't even know if it's a girl. But, all I can think about is what is she going to look like? Is she gonna fit in in school? Will she excel in academics or have a musical talent?" He said looking at Mika. Mika looked down now, she knew the filling, she had miscarried 3 times now. And the would haves haunted her every time. Eiri knew he had a baby out there somewhere, he was haunted by the wills.

"It doesn't get any easier. I hear a kid laugh, or see one in the store with their mom. All I think off is what if. Yours is going to be harder, cause ever kid you see you're going to wonder if that is them." Mika said, "I know why you don't want to give up, bro. I'll help if I can" He nodded looking down at his lap. Mika stood and wrapped her arms around him. The brother and sister sat in silence like this for a good while before Tohma came back in. he cast Mika a questioning look, which she just shrugged it off.

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Shuichi arrived at the book store at 9 that morning, and had been put on shelving. Right now he was in the romance section putting a box of Yuki's latest book on the selves. He had known his lover sold a lot of books but...this store had a whole row of selves just for his books.

"Shuichi, lets go get lunch" Sora said poking her head into the section giving him a smile. Shuichi looked at her then at his watch, it was already 2 in the afternoon.

"Sure" he said nodding putting the last of the books on the self.

"Pizza sound good?" she asked putting up the closed sign up.

"That sounds great" he said making sure his bag was on his shoulder. The two left walking down the street and talking about this or that. They found seats in the parlor and placed their orders.

"Tell me about him" she requested looking at Shuichi. He looked at her, and then down for a moment.

"He's not perfect...but he was to me. He could be mean and rude, but he was also gentle and caring. I think he would have made a great father...but he doesn't want kids." Shuichi said

"Why not talk to him. He might surprise you" she said softly, "If he loves you as much as I can see you love him. Then it wont matter, what he's said or done in the past, all that will matter to him is that you're with him. And the miracle you two have been given"

"I was a burden before, I'd be an even bigger one with a child" Shuichi said tears running down his face. Sora watched him sadly before moving over to sit next to him.

"Just think about what you're doing to him. I don't want you to be filled with What ifs." Sora said wrapping her arms around him as he cried.

Their pizza arrived not much later. Shuichi dried his eyes, as Sora moved back across the table. Shuichi took a piece, and pulled a little bag of chocolate puffs, and put them on the pizza. The craving should have gone away by now but, he still craved Yuki's favorite cereal. He wondered briefly if it would be her favorite cereal when she was older. A thought flashes through his mind of Yuki sitting at the table in the morning and a little blond baby sitting in a highchair next to him Chocolate puffs all over her tray.

Shuichi feels like crying again.

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They finish lunch and head back. Once back Sora decided to teach Shuichi to do the check out. The costumers like Shuichi, and a few even tried to leave their numbers. Sora only laughed and shook her head. Once again she insisted on Shuichi staying for dinner.

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Shuichi left their apartment, and went home. He almost went into to shock through when he saw someone leaning against the wall next to his door.

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ok so there it is. same deal as last time you guess who it is i'll put your name at the beginning of the next chapter


	7. Unwanted Outcast

ok so here's the next chapter and as promised here is the correct guessers

Yaoifangirl89

Riaries

Oliakiella

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Chapter 8**: Unwanted Outcast

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"Seguchi-san?" Shuichi said looking at the blond man leaning against the wall.

"Shindou-san, quiet a few people have been looking for you" he said standing up looking at the young man in front of him.

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*****earlier that day***

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Tohma looked at Ryuichi as the man sucked on a sucker playing with Kumagoro. He was being strangely.

"Ryuichi is something wrong?" he asked looking at the child-man.

"Tohma if someone asked you not to tell someone something but, you knew it might help other people. What would you do?" Ryuichi asked looking at Tohma as he started to chew on Kumagoro's ears.

"Well, that would depend on who it would help" he said sitting down next to him. Ryuichi looked torn between saying more and keeping quiet.

"All right, how about I ask you questions and you shake or nod your head" Tohma said trying a game they had used in high school. Ryuichi nodded looking at him.

"Will it help me to know this?" he asked, he thought for a minute before shaking his head.

"Noriko?" he asked, and again a head shake

"K?" this one made him stop and think, he gave a half shake half nod, "ok"

"How about BAD LUCK" he asked, he nodded without thought.

"Is this about Shuichi?" he asked his eyes critical. Ryuichi nodded again his eyes much like that of a kicked puppy.

"Tell me what you know Ryuichi" he said softly. He whined and pulled out the sheet of paper that Shuichi had written the information on. Tohma looked at it, he memorized the home address.

"Don't worry about it Ryu. No one else needs to know" Tohma said, he could not let Yuki have this information it would ruin his life.

"Really Tohma-chan?" Ryu asked looking at him.

"Yes, it is better you keep your promise to Shindou-san" Tohma said with a smile.

"Thanks tohma you're so smart" he said with a smile.

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"What do you want Seguchi-san?" Shuichi asked, he was tired. After lunch his little girl had decided to practice kicking at his kidney.

"I believe we need to talk" he said smoothly his face ever calm.

"And what do _we_ have to talk about?" Shuichi said, letting his bad mood seep into his voice.

"Your choices. I wish only to speak of yours and your child's future." Tohma said, "Will you open the door so that we can go inside. I am sure that you do not wish for your neighbors to hear this conversation" Shuichi glared at the man pulling his keys out and opening the door. They both entered the apartment and shuichi turned on the lights.

Tohma took in the apartment, it was plain but not boring. It reminded him a lot of Eiri's apartment.

"Either start talking or get out" Shuichi said crossing his arms over his chest.

"I wish to offer a compromise" Tohma said, shuichi raised an eyebrow, "a few propositions for you" he hadn't really thought of it until a few minutes ago, but Mika desperately wanted a child, why not give her one.

"Give the child up for adoption. They would have a family with two parents, and could be completely normal. And you could go back to Eiri come back to BAD LUCK" he said watching Shuichi.

"No one is ever going to love her the way I can. I will not give her up" Shuichi hissed at him, even suggested that he give up this baby was insane.

"What life will it have with you. You have no skills but your singing, you are a child yourself at the best of times." Tohma said

"I will not give **_HER_** up." Shuichi snarled

"If you keep it you'll **never** see Eiri again" Tohma said making it clear that Shuichi would never get near Eiri with that child.

"Get out" Shuichi yelled at him, resting a hand on his stomach as she kicked. She wasn't happy with Tohma either it looked like.

"If you go near Eiri with that_** Bastard **_I will destroy you" Tohma said with a smiled before leaving the apartment.

Once he was gone Shuichi started to sob, making his way over to the couch. He held his swollen stomach as he sobbed. What was he going to do? He had known giving Ryuichi the information was a bad idea. But, he'd wanted so bad to think that his idol would keep his word.

After he had cried himself dry he sat staring at the blank TV as she kicked away. He flipped on the TV, and started flipping through channels. He stopped startled when he came across a rerun of a talk show, it was an interview with Yuki. He didn't hear what was being said...he really didn't care. The smoothness of his older lovers voice washed over him, their little princess seemed to calm as Shuichi submerged in the smooth voice.

Shuichi slowly fell over on the couch falling to sleep. As he fell into sleeps gentle embrace, dreams of his lover holding him securing his calm and pleasant dreams.

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Yuki had returned home earlier that day, and now sat at his desk staring at the blank document. He couldn't do anything but think about Shuichi and their daughter. He opened a blank document in a knew format and started working.

He turned on one of Shuichi's CDs as he worked letting his small strawberry lovers voice push him onward.

As the night went on he sent and email to Mizuki, telling her he wanted to meet with her on a new book in a week. He looked at what he had typed up, this was defiantly going to change the why the world saw him. And strangely he didn't care, all he could do was hope that it would somehow reach Shuichi and her...what ever her name would be.

He hoped it would show shuichi and her that he loved them...would always love them. That was all he could hope for, that his worlds would somehow reach his lover and their beautiful little girl.

On the nights she felt alone, or unwanted...as an outcast. She could find some comfort in the words and know she is the most loved girl in the world.

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ok so there it is tell me what you think


	8. Namesare they clues

OK so here is chapter 9

tell me what you all think

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**Chapter 9**: Names...are they clues

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After Tohma's visit everything seemed to go back to normal for the next few weeks, now at 30 weeks Shuichi was feeling big as a house and the little one was restless 24/7. The only think that seemed to calm her was Yuki's voice. To solve this problem, Shuichi TVod all interviews that Yuki had. Sora cut back on his hours but increased his pay, as much as he objected. In all honestly Shuichi was happy to rest his feet as they now were swollen as hell. Although he spend most of his time off at the bookstore. Ever since Tohma's appearance he didn't want to be alone in his apartment.

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Yuki looked over the art samples that Mizuki had sent him. It had been rough few hours convincing her that he was serous about publishing a children's book. After their meeting she had taken the manuscript and said she'd find some illustrators for it. So far he hadn't seen any that he thought conveyed what he wanted.

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Shuichi looked up from his drawling pad. In the spare time that he had he had starting drawling to use up his artist energy. He had been good at art in school one of the few classes he passed without Hiro's help.

Sora had looked at the drawling and said they where very good. She had asked him about maybe sending a few out to see what publishing companies thought of them. He had looked at her like she was crazy, but when she prosisded he agreed, but only with a 'pen name' they had chosen Yuna Yukimora.

This is how his art ended up in the hands of Mizuki. Yuki had refused all the well known children's artists. So she had started going through new submissions. She brought over a folder of art to him, hoping he would find something in this batch. Pretty soon she'd have to go out side of their publishing house to find more artists.

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Yuki sat on the couch with Mizuki as he went through the folder. He quickly discarded the top few calling them crap. He stopped though picking up one holding it in both hands. It was a simple color pencil with a little water color. It was just as dreadful as the rest, but the contents made him stop and look.

It was a blond man in black robes, standing with a woman in an orange dress, with...pink hair flowing down her back.

He stared at it his mind back in on that day, how much he wished to be able to reach out and touch Shuichi again. He nodded to himself, handing the picture to Mizuki. She flipped it over and looked at who the artist was.

"Yuna Yukimora, she's new to us. I'll contact her and send her an unlabeled manuscript" she said with a nod.

"Where is she from?" he asked pulling out a cigarette.

"Kyoto" Mizuki said looking at him, "why?"

"Give me the address I'll take the manuscript" he said just holding the cigarette en-between his lips.

"I have to talk with her first" Mizuki said, "its policy" He grunted and nodded. She stood and showed herself out.

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Sora and Shuichi had agreed that they store phone would be Yuna's contact number, but seeing as it had only been a week since they had sent in the picture they hadn't been expecting a call. Sora answered the phone and listened to the other end.

"I am Yuna Yukimora" she said smoothly, she listened to what was being said glancing at Shuichi every now and then as he watched her.

"No, quiet honestly I would prefer not to meet the author." She said, "Yes, that's right just send it to the store...I live in the apartment above it," she answered "all right thank you I'll get working on it as soon as it gets here" she hung up and looked at Shuichi. Who was sitting next to her with his list of names.

"Well, it looks like Yuna's got her first job" she smiled as shuichi nodded. He grabbed his stomach as a hard kick connected.

"Ouch Laylee" he snapped, he had been trying names out. And this one felt better on his lips then any of the others. He was pretty sure it was the one for her.

"Laylee?" Sora asked looking at him.

"Well I really liked the names layla and lee so I just combined them into one" he said sheepishly placing a hand on the back of his head. Sora laughed nodded.

"What about Middle and Last names? Will she be a Shindou or a Uesugi?" she asked

"For a middle name I was thinking either Erin or Eirian" Shuichi said, "as to the last name will...she's Yuki's daughter she should have his last name"

"Laylee Eirian Uesugi" Sora made a face, "Laylee Erin Uesugi" she nodded at that one a did Shuichi, he didn't want her name to be a mouth and a half full. And besides now that he thought about Eirian would make her name 666, and he didn't like the idea of that.

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Yuki stared at his computer screen thinking. That picture had shaken him up a bit, plus Mizuki had called and said the artist did not want to meet. She just wanted the manuscript mailed and she'd get to work. Something was off about this he could feel it. He opened a search engine.

He typed in 'Kyoto Yuna Yukimora' and about a few hundred hits. He browsed through them, clicking on one from the news paper. It was an article about a shooting at a gay rights pic-ate 4 years ago. He raised an eyebrow and started to read, when he was done he sat back thinking. Yuna Yukimora had been shot and killed that day 4 years ago. But, something still bothered him about this. The article went on to talk about a bookstore she had left to her parents.

He searched the book store and found it was still open in Kyoto. He nodded printing out the address, before going to his room to pack. He didn't know what he expected to find or why he was so interested in this artist but he was.

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ok so there it is, tell me what you think also i like to read theories so if you have any idea on what's going to happen i would love to see it.


	9. In passing

ok so here is chapter 10. I'm sure you'll like it.

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Chapter 10**: In Passing

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Yuki was cranky, when he had arrived in Kyoto last night, his father had stared at him in shock and then lectured him about his life. Yuki had drowned most of it out, how ever when the old man had dumped him out of bed at 6 am it had been a different story. He had quickly dressed and left the temple. He headed to where the bookstore was, it wouldn't be open at this hour but at least it was something to do.

As he parked his car he looked around, this was a relatively nice shopping area. He could easily see himself bringing Shuichi here for a date. He added that to his mental list of to do's, he's ask Mika to babysit or something. As He walked around nodding to the few people out and about, he came to a park with a playground. He sat down on one of the benches his eyes fixed on the swing set.

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Shuichi stepped off the subway and headed to his favorite bakery to pick up a chocolate strawberry turnover, and a tea before heading to the bookstore. It really was amazing in less then a month he had become a part of this community. He found that he liked the feeling, of so may people carry about him and Laylee.

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Yuki stood up walking back down the street figuring he'd get something to eat. He saw a bakery it actually smelled good from here. He nodded to himself heading for the shop.

Shuichi thanked the Baker for the bag as he handed over his order.

"No problem Shu-chan, I'm gonna give that girl her first breads" He laughed, "might was well get her addicted to it now" Shuichi laughed with him walking backwards and out the out door. Just as the bell chimed the entrance of another customer.

Yuki walked up the counter, but stopped closing his eyes he smelled Strawberries...like the brats favorite body lotion. He opened his eyes to look around expecting Shuichi to just suddenly appear next to him. Just as suddenly as the smell hit him it was gone. He sighed and order a coffee with a Strawberry bagel.

"You're new here" the baker said looking at him. Yuki raised an eyebrow, but nodded.

"Just visiting or moved" he asked, the morning where always slow until around 10.

"Heard about a bookstore that was good around here" Yuki said simply. The baker nodded at his comment.

"That would be Sun and Snow book store owned by the Yukimora's" he said, "one the best bookstores around"

"You know the Yukimora's?" Yuki asked now he was fishing maybe his man had some answered.

"Yeah, I remember when Yuna opened the place with her partner Layla" he said a sad smile in his lips. "thought for sure Sora and Fuji where going to sell the place, but they didn't. It's been nice having them around" Yuki nodded taking in the information.

"What time do they open?" he asked drinking his coffee.

"In about..." he looked at the wall clock, "20 minutes"

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Shuichi walked down the street towards the bookstore, he was humming happily to himself. As he got to the door, and stopped. He turned back around and looked at the car sitting in front of the store. It looked like Yuki's car. He looked up and down the street before stepping closer to the car. He looked in the window squinting to see through the tinted windows. He jumped back fast in a panic...it was Yuki's car. His Kumagoro was sitting in the back seat where Yuki had tossed it last time they rode together. Shuichi looked up and down the street caught between wanting his bigger lover to appear and wanting to hide. He saw a flash of blond hair coming out of the bakery, and bolted into the bookstore.

Shuichi had to think about Laylee, Tohma had come back by a few days ago to try once more to get Shuichi to give Laylee up. When Shuichi had stayed strong against him, he had mad it perfectly clear that if Yuki so much a heard a breath about or saw a hair of her, Tohma would ruin Shuichi and he would not have Laylee long.

"Shu-kun what's wrong honey?" Sora asked looking at his pale face.

"The blond man, don't let him know what you know me or anything" he said taking deep calming breaths.

"All right but I want an explanation later. Here's the books go up stairs and you can work on it while I deal with him" Sora said holding out the brown package. Shuichi took it and headed up stairs. The door upstairs closed at the same time as the store door opened and the infamous Eiri Yuki stepped in.

"May I help you find anything?" Sora asked calmly. Something about this man had Shuichi in a panic.

"I'm looking to speak with Sora Yukimora" he said politely.

"I am Sora. what can I do for you?" she asked

"I wanted to ask you about your daughter, Yuna" He said

"What of Yuna?" she asked

"It is my understanding that she passed almost 5 years ago" He said

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Shuichi sat at a table by the window looking through the book. He decided he'd read it aloud so that he could picture the image to go with it.

"No matter Where you are...

Do you know what makes Daddies so great...well let me tell you

Daddies do it all...they chase away the monsters

They make you funny pancakes

They play peek-a-boo until you stop crying

They laugh with you and cry with you

They give really good hugs...and kisses

But you know what makes them even better...

It's that no matter where you are

How far you've traveled

Or what you've done

...

They always love you more then anyone else" Shuichi a tears in his eyes as he finished. But, nothing prepared him when he flipped the book closed and saw the author name.

"Yuki" he said horsely before starting to all out sob. He looked out the window with blurry eyes as he heard a car start. He sobbed as he watched Yuki drive off.

"Oh Shu, tell me what's wrong" Sora said coming over to him. He clung to her, sobbing about being wrong and ruining everything.

"Shhh, honey it's going to be all right" Sora said soothingly, Shuichi was slowly calming down. At least he was until he realized the back of his legs where wet. He pulled back slightly to see he was standing in a puddle.

"Oh god...FUJI PUT UP THE CLOSED SIGN." Sora yelled helping Shuichi down the stairs.

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Yuki sat out in the garden of the temple his lap top in his lap. His mind couldn't be further from writing though. Honestly he had the over whelming feeling that things had change drastically.

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ok tell me what you think of this one there are only a few more chapters to go.


	10. welcome to the world

ok so here's chapter 11, OMG it's almost done i can't believe it...well maybe i can but that's because i've been ignoring all my other work for this.

well enjoy and review

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**Chapter 11**: Welcome into the World

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Dr. Sakito met them at the hospital. She had quickly gotten him set up in a birthing room. And pulled in an ultrasound to make sure that everything was alright.

"Alright Shu I'm gonna hook you up to a few things so that I can get a better look at Laylee" She said as Shuichi held Sora's hand tight.

"She looks good...in fact it looks like she's almost dropped low enough for you to push" she said turning the screen so that Shuichi could see the screen too. Sakito had expected this to go smoothly it had looked fine. But, like this pregnancy nothing was as it seemed. He'd been in labor 16 hours, and Sakito was starting to worry. He was bleeding too much.

"I'm scheduling the OR for a C-section." She said calling for a nurse.

"What? What's wrong...is Laylee ok?" Shuichi panted his face pale and his hair matted to her face with sweat.

"She's not moving along like she should be. I want to just take her out for both your sakes." Sakito said as the nurses came in to help start getting him ready for surgery.

Shuichi started to cry holding Sora's hand as another contraction hit him.

"I want my Mom" He sobbed, right now it didn't matter he was having a baby of his own. Or that his Yuki wasn't here to help him. All he wanted was for his mother to hold him and tell him he was going to be ok.

The last thing Shuichi saw before he was out, was Sakito leaning over him in scrubs.

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Sora sat in the waiting room with Fuji looking at the crumpled piece of paper Shuichi had given her when they had first arrived. He had told her that if anything happened to him to call that number it was Laylee's father. She didn't know what to do, she loved Shuichi like a son. Because of that she wanted to respect his wishes to not involve the father unless needed. But, she also knew that they loved each other more then anything else in this world. It hadn't taken her long talking to Eiri Yuki to figure out he was Laylee's father. The look in his eyes almost broke her heart.

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Yuki was pacing, he had been pacing for hours. He kept putting cigarettes between his lips only to grind the filter between his teeth. Something was wrong he could feel it. But if something was wrong with Shuichi then something was wrong with the baby.

He kept trying to tell himself he was being paranoid that no matter what the Brat was in capable of going through the pains of labor without someone calling him...but deep down he knew he was wrong, the brat had left 6 months ago and was taking care of himself on his own.

"Bro you're going to walk a hole into the floor" Tatsuha said looking at his brother.

"Somethings wrong with him I know it" Yuki growled out

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Ryuichi looked at his phone as it rang. He had been on his way to see Shuichi, he had picked up a baby gift, for Shuichi's little girl.

"Hello?" he asked stopping to talk.

"Hello, Ryuichi-san. this is Sora, Shuichi's having the baby right now...i thought he might like to see the friendly face afterwards." Sora said calmly.

"Oh yeah. What hospital?" he asked jumping up and down. He couldn't wait to see the little Shuichi. He nodded memorizing the hospital. He hung up and headed that way.

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Sora hung up her phone, she may not have called the father. But, at least Shuichi would have someone from his old life here to smile about little Laylee.

She looked up as a Nurse came out carrying a pink bundle. She smiled watching the nurse take her to the nursery. Her smile only brightened when Dr. Sakito walked out with the sleeping Shuichi.

Sora stood up with Fuji looking at her. She smiled and nodded.

"Everything went well, both Shuichi and baby are fine" She said stopping in front of them, as Shuichi was pushed on to his room.

"Oh thank god" Fuji said with a smile.

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It didn't take Shuichi look to wake up, and once he did he demanded his daughter in his arms. The nurses where more then happy to oblige.

Laylee apparently had inherited Shuichi's lungs, and had been screaming her head off since she was taken to the nursery. The minute she was in Shuichi's arms though she quieted. He smiled down at her ignoring the snap of a camera as it went off twice. He looked up as a cheerful voice cried out about seeing a little Shuichi.

He laughed softly as Sora hushed Ryu before letting him into the room. Ryu came over to the bed in a rush smiling bright at the sight of the little girl.

She really was perfect, she had all 10 little fingers and toes. And a small tuff of blond hair on the top of her head.

"Name?" the Nurse asked looking at him

"Laylee Erin Uesugi" He said, she nodded writing it down. She handed Sora the two pictures before leaving the room.

"Oh Shuichi, I got little Shuichi a present" Ryu said looking at his friend. Shuichi raised an eyebrow at him, and smiled brightly when Ryuichi produced a small black Kumagoro from his bag.

"It's perfect thank you Ryu" Shuichi said taking it gently.

"Can you guys give me a few minutes with Ryu." Shuichi said looking at Sora who nodded placing taking Laylee from Shuichi to put her into her bassinet next to the bed. Once they where gone and the door clicked shut.

"Ryu, I need to talk to you seriously" he said softly looking at the older man. His eyes became more focus and he looked at Shu showing he was truly listening. The hurt tone in Shuichi's voice telling him something was wrong.

"I know you feel the need to tell Tohma everything...the same way I use to be with Hiro. but Ryuichi I need you to not tell him about Laylee." Shuichi said looking at him.

"Why? Shuichi what's wrong?" Ryuichi said

"Seguchi-san doesn't much like me. You already knew that" Shuichi said watching Ryuichi nod. "well, he came to my apartment the day after I saw you again...Ryu he wants to take Laylee away from me. If he has to know I gave birth I'd rather he think that ...that Laylee is dead" Ryuichi's eyes narrowed, Tohma had obviously hurt him with his words.

"I understand" Ryuichi said softly nodding.

"Thank you Ryu. I want to ask you to do one more thing for me" Shuichi said looking at him. Ryu nodded again. Shuichi smiled and picked up a pen and one of the pictures, he wrote neatly on the front, Laylee Erin Uesugi. And on the back, Born November 5, 12:07 p.m., 4lbs 3oz. He handed it to Ryuichi.

"Get that to Yuki...please" he said softly. It wasn't until he was writing it down that he thought about how small Laylee was. Sakito had assured him she would be fine, that she was just like every other premie.

"I got it Shu-chan. you rest while you can" Ryuichi said standing. He tucked the picture safely into his bag.

Shuichi leaned back in his bed looking at his sleeping little one.

"Welcome to the wold, Laylee" he said softly before going to sleep.

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ok so there it is and as i said this part of Laylee's story is drawling to an end. so pretty soon it's either going to end with an epilogue or a sequel tell me what you think


	11. Life goes On

ok so here is chapter 12 it's a bit longer then the others. I'll explain why at the end of the chapter. enjoy

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**Chapter 12**: Life goes On

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Ryuichi had headed back to Tokyo not long after leaving the hospital. He had plans he was going to put on a little act for his 'best friend.' Tohma was not going to get away with treating Shuichi like that.

He would do what ever it took to see Shuichi happy, no matter what he had to do. He loved his Predecessor, but he knew that he wasn't what shuichi needed. So, he was happy to sit back and watch...help.

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Yuki had stopped pacing hours ago, he sat staring out at the sky. She had been born he could feel it. It was the only thing that made sense as to why he felt his way. It terrified him, because that would mean that she was a premie. He grabbed his laptop from his bed, and opened it. He searched premature births, he found a site that listed what was most likely to be expected depending on how far along the pregnancy was. He looked up doing the math in his head, if Shuichi had been 2 months when he left that would make him 7 months and some change. if he was more then that well then she would probably be fine, but if he was less then that. he clicked on 6 months, and read through it. He then moved on to 7 months, and read through it a bit more thornily. he didn't want to think that Shuichi had only been a month along, there was just no way that brat could have pulled off all the steps to hide himself so well, in less then a month.

It looked like they where looking at lung problems. Of course the 'they' in that was belief on his part that Shuichi hadn't grown up the past 5 months. He could hope at least.

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"Ryuichi?" Tohma said a little shocked to see the singer storm into his office. He stood up and rounded his desk, to greet him. He didn't register what had happen until he was on the floor with a bleeding lip. He looked at Ryuichi who's eyes where a light with fire.

"You bastard" he hissed, Tohma pushed himself up looking at his enraged friend.

"What is wrong?" He asked wiping his lip on his sleeve.

"You had no right to talk to Shuichi like that" He said venom in his voice, in a way that Tohma had heard in his voice.

"What are you talking about?" he asked his own eyes narrowing.

"Threatening to take away his baby" Ryuichi screamed at him, his fist raised again. Tohma how ever was not going to be sucker punched again. He brought up his guard, catching the punch this time. How ever Ryuichi was ready for that and kicked him in the side.

Tohma stumbled back, holding his side. It had been a long time since they had actually fought. It had been close to 10 years, if not longer.

"You're a son of a bitch" Ryuichi said, "do you know where I was this morning?" he asked. Tohma shook his head, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Want to take a guess?" he asked raising an eyebrow, "no, well let me tell you. I was in the hospital with Shuichi. He went into early labor, She didn't even live an hour" Ryuichi had tears of anger in his eyes.

"Its dead?" Tohma asked looking at his friend

"SHE...she had a name, a room, she was a person. Or are you just that heartless" Ryuichi screamed at him.

"She? I was a girl?" Tohma asked his eyes starting to cloud over. The last time Mika and him had tried, they had made it far enough to know the gender, it was going to be a girl.

"Yeah that's right, just like your dead one" Ryuichi said going to for the lowest blow now, "he feels just like Mika did. You would honestly wish that on him what about Yuki if he finds out? He will feel just like you did, or don't you care?" Ryuichi said softly his eyes accusing. Tohma stood there, by referring to the...baby as anything but, he had been able to distance himself from it. Act like what he was doing wouldn't have hurt both him and Mika if someone had done it to them. But at the same time he was Tohma Seguchi, no one dared to mess with him, he was one of the most dangerous men in Japan.

"Glade to see you see what you did now" Ryuichi said, "now I am going to make something very clear for you. I will not sing again until the day that Shuichi and I can appear together again. I don't care what you say or do, for me Shuichi comes first now" and with that he stormed back out of the office slamming the door behind him.

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Shuichi sat holding Laylee in his arms, she had starting fussing again the minute a nurse had come in to feed her. Shuichi had requested to do it, and after the nurse showed him what he needed to know, he had feed his daughter.

Right now all he could do was stare memorized by the tuff of blond hair on her head. So much like Yuki's, he wondered what color her eyes would be. He half hoped they would be gold like Yuki's, the other half though hoped they weren't he didn't know how he would handle having a constant reminder of the man he'd left behind.

Shuichi was pulled from his thoughts by fussing coming from his arms. He looked down at Laylee, he gasped to see her eyes open looking at him. All he could do was stare at her in shock, her eyes seemed to pierce his soul. It was silly he know but he felt as if she was staring at him accusingly.

What shocked him the most though was the fact that her eyes where different colors. While her left eye was Yuki's magnificent gold, her right eye was his own royal purple. He let the tears fall, she was the perfect mix. Only a fool would try to say that the beautiful girl was not the daughter of the novelist and the singer.

"Shhh, shhhh it's alright Mama's here" he said softly, she seemed to quiet at his words. Shuichi smiled, he could do this. He could be the mother his little girl deserved.

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Sakito insisted they stay in the hospital a few days more before she was willing to release either Shuichi or Laylee. While she assured Shuichi that Laylee was completely healthy time and again, it did nothing to keep him from panicking every time she sneezed funny. Lucky for her Sora was there to play the reassuring mother/grandmother. She helped to keep Shuichi calm and understand that just because Laylee hiccuped did not mean something was wrong.

Although had made a slightly annoying discovery, Laylee was a colic baby. She never seemed to find a time that she wasn't screaming her lungs out unless she was asleep. And she would only do that if she was in Shuichi's arms. The minute he put her down she would start screaming again.

All she could do was hope that Shuichi was ready when they went home. She knew that the first few months could make or break a single parent. She really hoped that Shuichi would hold strong. Because the road was not going to be easy. This was what he choose though and she could only stand back and watch.

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Ryuichi sat on his bed staring at the photo he was supposed to give to Eiri Yuki. Somehow he just couldn't seem to do it, it felt like the timing was off or something. Ryuichi pulled out his phone to call Shuichi but then, shook his head. He stood up and decided to go on a mini-vacation again. He'd go and stay in Kyoto with Shuichi and Laylee.

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Ryuichi got into Kyoto around the same time that Shuichi and Laylee where released from the hospital to go home. Ryuichi called Sora and told her that he would go and get Shuichi's apartment ready for the two of them.

He went through quickly making sure that everything was stocked up. He set up the infant pillows on Shuichi's bed so that Laylee could be in bed with him.

Shuichi smiled at Ryu as they entered the house. Shuichi went straight for the rocking chair in the nursery. As he sat down he began to softly sing In the Moonlight as he rocked with Laylee.

Ryuichi, Fuji, and Sora watched them with small smiles. It was obvious that Shuichi missed his lover. Ryuichi knew more then anyone else here what that song meant to the J-Pop Prince.

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Things slowly returned to normal...well as normal as life could be with a screaming baby added into it. Ryuichi and Shuichi had talked about the picture. Shuichi had taken it back reluctantly. It had taken him awhile to figure out what to do with it. Then the idea had literally hit him on the head. He had been straightening up Laylee's room some when a Baby book had fallen of the shelf. He stared at it, for a few minutes and then smiled. He would make a book, one day it would give it to Yuki...or it would become Laylee's when she was older.

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Yuki looked at the pictures that had been produced for his children's book. Only a quarter where done, but the rest had outlines. He was more then willing to be patient, Mizuki had received a call from Yuna, saying that she was going to be a little slow since she had just had a baby. At hearing this news Yuki had been very tempted to go back to the bookstore and confront Sora again. She had been very adamant that she had no idea who the '_woman_' using her daughters name was. He was now starting to see the loop holes she'd left in their conversation.

The pictures where slowly convincing him that 'Yuna Yukimora' might just be Shuichi Shindou. The only thing that bothered him about this theory was the fact that he didn't think the other man could drawl.

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ok, so i told you guys i would tell you why this chapter was longer. well you see i have decided to use this story for a contest for any form of writing even fanfiction the only stipulation is that it has to be 50,000 words.

now, the Next Chapter will be the Official last chapter of this story. I will be posting an epilogue, and seeing how many people want to see more i might post the sequel i've been working on.

now go ahead and and tell me what you think


	12. Gravity

OK here it see the final chapter of this story. Go ahead and enjoy.

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**Chapter 13**: Gravity

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Shuichi leaned against the wall in the nursery holding his head. Laylee was in her crib, screaming her head off. She'd been crying for the past few days, well more like the last week.

She was now 5 months old, Sakito had told him that colic normally subsided around 3 or 4, sometimes it went on longer. Laylee unfortunately was one of the ones that was going for longer. Shuichi hadn't been able to sleep for the past 5 days, every time he fell asleep for more then an hour, she would start screaming again. Nothing seemed to calm her down anymore.

"Please Laylee Stop" Shuichi screamed sobbing, he's cries joining that off his daughters.

"Why can't you be quiet for just a little while" he couldn't stop crying, this went of for about an hour before he started screaming and sobbing for Yuki, that he couldn't do this.

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Sora let stopped outside of Shuichi's apartment, she could hear the crying and screaming from here. And she was becoming more worried, she let herself in and quickly closed the door. She hurried to the nursery. She hurried over and lifted Laylee out of the crib, giving the girl a pacifier, she quieted after a few minutes of Sora holding her close. Sora looked over at the sobbing Shuichi, he was a mess.

"Shuichi...honey" Sora tried, not seeming to reach the man. Sora stepped out of the room and pulled out her cellphone. She called both Fuji and Ryuichi.

Ryuichi was looking at apartments in the area, having decided to just move down here. The minute he heard what was going on he excused himself and headed back.

Fuji closed the bookstore and headed over too.

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By the time they arrived Laylee was screaming again, and Shuichi was begging for her to stop. To just be quiet for a little while. Sora was trying everything she knew to quiet the girl. Ryuichi kneeled down in front of Shuichi.

"Shuichi, come on you're ok just take a deep breath" Ryuichi said softly trying to calm the other man. After multiple attempts by just about every one to get a response out of Shuichi, Ryuichi did something he never thought he'd do.

"DANM IT SHUICHI, SNAP OUT OF IT. YOU'RE AN ADULT, START ACTING LIKE ONE AND BE LAYLEE'S DANM MOTHER" Ryuichi yelled at him, before smacking him across the face.

For a minute they didn't think it worked, but then Shuichi quieted and slowly stood up. He silently took Laylee from Sora and began to bounce gently with her. Laylee for her part held onto his shirt.

Shuichi looked at all of them finally his eyes red from lack of sleep and crying. His nose was raw and running. To put it simply he looked a real mess.

"I can do this" He said softly, "It's hard, but I can do it" he nodded to himself. They nodded as with him. Shuichi walked out to the living room and flipped on the TV and selected one of Yuki's interviews. Laylee turned her head her mitch-match eyes looking at where the voice was coming from. Her screaming slowly stopped as she listened to the voice.

"She's a daddy's girl" Shuichi said softly, as he set her down on the floor slowly and started to back up. She content to sit there and chew on her hands, listening to the voice. Shuichi sighed giving a tired smile. He did a quick sweep of the room, making sure there was nothing dangerous on the floor or any where she could get her hand ons on. Once he was satisfied that she was safe, he laid down on the couch watching her and listening to Yuki's voice. The three other adults watched in silence as Shuichi feel asleep as Laylee sat quietly on the floor.

The only thing that was on their minds was when would this happen again. Shuichi had had a few of these little melt downs already. It seemed like every time Ryuichi started looking at either going back to Tokyo or moving out of the apartment, Shuichi would hit his limit.

"Sora I want to talk to Shuichi when he wakes up. Would you two mind taking Laylee for the night?" Ryuichi said looking sadly at the sleeping man. Sora nodded walking over and picking up Laylee while Fuji went and got her diaper bag.

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Shuichi woke up a the next day around noon. His stomach growled at the smell of food coming from the kitchen. He slowly got up, he went through his routine. Stopping at Laylee's room he was startled to not see her there. After he got into the kitchen he leaned against the counter, watching Ryuichi move around the kitchen with a grace, that Shuichi never seemed to have.

"Where is Laylee?" He asked softly watching his idol.

"I had Sora and Fuji take her for a few days" Ryuichi responded flipping the pancakes.

"What? Why?" Shuichi asked, he didn't like having Laylee out of his sight any more then she had to be.

"Because you need to talk about what the hell is going on in your head" Ryuichi said, Shuichi cringed at the curse from the normally child like man.

"I don't know" Shuichi said softly not looking at him. Ryuichi sighed turning off the griddle.

"Shuichi...you need to talk to someone. This can't keep happening. She needs you to be the best you can be. I know you're stressed, but this can't keep happening. Maybe...maybe it's time you went back to Yuki-san" Ryuichi said looking at the smaller man.

"You know I can't do that, Ryu." Shuichi said looking at him.

"I think you're just being selfish. Laylee is his daughter too" Ryuichi said, he stopped himself and took a deep breath. "Please Shuichi just talk to someone. Maybe Sakito knows a therapist or someone that will help" Shuichi gave him a look.

"Ryu I am fine. I promise" Shuichi said going and sitting at the table

"Shuichi you need help. If you want to be here to see Laylee grow up then please, please get some help. I don't want to see you burn out" Ryuichi said softly coming over to the younger man. He pulled him out of his chair and into a hug.

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Shuichi had taken Ryuichi's advice. He had gone to a therapist, the man had listened to Shuichi for 4 weeks before he told Shuichi what he thought was wrong with his life. Why everything seemed to be going so well, then suddenly it felt like nothing was right. It sounded like Shuichi was bipolar. He had recommended a few things to read, and if Shuichi was interested they could try medication.

Shuichi talked to Ryuichi about all he had read. While the older male acted child like most of the time, he was actually quiet knowledgeable on many things, not just singing.

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Tohma on occasion would go to Kyoto, he never said a word to Shuichi. He would simply come into the book store if Shuichi was working and sit looking at Laylee as she would play or sleep. At first Shuichi had been worried about the blond, this was the man that had threatened to take his daughter away from him.

But, the look in Tohma's eyes told him that something had changed. He wasn't sure what but, the blond seemed more content with his life. While Shuichi didn't trust him, that didn't stop Laylee from growing attached to her distant silent guardian. Tohma also slowly became attached to the young girl. Whenever he would come visit her he would bring some form of toy for her.

It wasn't until Laylee had crawled over to Tohma one day and pulled herself up on his pants leg, that Shuichi saw that the blond really wasn't a threat any more. Laylee formed a strange bound with the man, that in years to come would be put to the test.

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Shuichi put together a book with Laylee's baby pictures adding a new one almost every day. He would write next to them what had been going on. The more he did this he found the more he felt like he had robbed his lover of something.

He knew in no uncertain terms that one day Yuki would have this book. That they would sit down one night, and Shuichi would tell him all about the life his daughter lived as a baby. All the trouble she had gotten into, all the times she had made shuichi smile. Of how she knew Yuki's voice, as one that safe.

But, he knew that night would not be for years to come. He wasn't ready to go back. He was finally an adult. People were treating him like he could take care of himself and Laylee. And as much as Shuichi realized it sucked, he wasn't ready to give up this knew way of life yet. He wasn't ready to go back to being taken care of, and treated like a child himself. In fact he didn't know if he could ever go back to the way he had been.

But, he knew he would go back one day, Yuki was like gravity to him.

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Yuki for his part in life, slowly moved on. He realized that no matter how hard he looked he would not find his lover or their daughter. As much as he hated to admit it, it was one of the things Shuichi was good at he could disappear, and if he didn't want to be found he wouldn't be.

As much as Yuki hated to admit it, Shuichi was an adult. He wasn't some teen that needed him to protect and lecture him. He knew that maybe if he had treated Shuichi more like an adult besides in the bedroom, Shuichi might have felt like he had a choice besides leaving.

And his daughter, well Mika was right when she said he would always wonder. He had started taking daily trips to the park, he would side on a bench with his laptop. He would watch the kids play. Every time he heard one of the babies giggle his heart would constricted. He had to wonder thought would he bring her here if Shuichi had stayed? Would be have been one of the parents sitting over there with a stroller? These where the what ifs that Mika had warned him about. One thing kept him from dwelling on them though.

Yuki could always feel the gravity that had pulled him and Shuichi together, and he knew that one day it would pull them back together. After all Shuichi was like Gravity for him.

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ok, there you go that's the end of this one. Now i am going to put up an Epilogue. And if i do a sequel it will be a scene in there as well. So tell me what you think guys. I want to see how you guess think Yuki and Shuichi will meet again. If you guess close i'll put give you an extended version on the epuilogue.


	13. Epilogue

ok so here is the epilogue. enjoy, weather or not their is a sequel depends on what people think of this. but for right now all of this story is done.

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Epilogue: Birthday Wishes

Yuki looked at his calender, 12...she would be 12 this month. He'd have to go out and get a birthday card. It was something he did every year, in November he would go out and buy a card for her. He kept him all in a box to give to her one day. Of course it all depended on when he found her and Shuichi.

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Shuichi leaned against a tree near a picnic table in the park. It was Laylee's birthday, she was curently sitting on one of the swings talking to her two friends. They where two she had met at school, the only two that seemed to accept her for who she was. Toby, was another blond, his mother had been American. And there was Kiki, she had come first, meeting Laylee completely by chance in kindergarten. Laylee had been hiding from the other kids and Kiki had tripped over her, being blind.

He was honestly was glad to she had those too. Toby was like her Hiro. It was weird for him to think his daughters best friend was a guy. He smiled as they all started to laugh and Laylee feel off her swing onto Toby.

"Hey, Kiddies cakes here" Fuji called to them as he and Sora arrived with an Alice in Wonderland cake. Laylee loved that book, she would read it over and over again. She had many different copies of it, different tellings. He had asked her once why it was her favorite, she had smiled and replied that only outcasts could get into Wonderland, because that was where they could fit in.

The three made their ways over Kiki on Laylee's elbow. They sat on the bench of the table and continued to talk. Well Kiki and Toby talked Laylee was petting K, her Rotwiller-husky mix. The dog was huge, all muscle too. The mutt had fallowed Laylee home multiple times as a puppy, and every time she would beg to keep it. Shuichi had finally given in about a year ago, saying it was her birthday present. In the end he was glad, to have the dog around. He was Laylee's protector, and she needed a lot of protecting.

A few years back, the leak had finally happened. The Media had gotten the story of a Male pregnancy that had been real. Tohma had swiftly put a gag order in effect on names and locations. But, the nut jobs still managed to find them; to find Laylee.

"Oh the Cake looks yummy doesn't it, Kumagoro-chan" Ryuichi said looking at the cake. The three kids turned their heads to the voice. Ryuichi was standing there pink rabbit on his head, with Tohma behind him with a gift bag.

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The party went well enough, all three kids had just grabbed forks and eaten the cake without cutting it. Laylee had received her gifts smiling at all of them, although the one that made her smile the brightest was Tohma's. he bought her another copy of Alice in Wonderland and a copy of Through the Looking Glass. That wasn't the only surprise the had though, He had also gotten three other copies of Through the Looking Glass in brail. all three kids jumped on his in thanks, brail was the only class that Kiki had alone. She didn't like having a class by herself. So, both Toby and Laylee had volunteered to take the class with her.

Shuichi had drawn her the scene of the tea party. Ryuichi had gotten her a little rabbit pocket watch. Sora and Fuji where going to help at her school winter fair. Kiki and Toby got her a hat that said, "All the most interesting people are usually crazy." But that wasn't the end of the surprises. Shuichi and Ryuichi where taking her to Tokyo for a week as a mini vacation. Tohma looked at Shuichi curiously at this announcement, Shuichi only nodded at him. He smiled, it was time for the writer and the singer to be together.

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After the party K went with Sora and Fuji to stay with them for the week, Kiki and Toby went home with their parents. Shuichi, Ryuichi, Tohma, and Laylee headed to the train station. Once they where sitting Tohma gave Laylee her school work books so she could do school work during the ride. Shuichi pulled out his lap top and put on his glasses, he had homework of his own to do.

Ryuichi had convinced him to go back to school. It had been hard, but Shuichi would walk across the stage for a Bachelors in Art in the spring. All he had to do now was 2 English classes and a math class. He hated English with a passion, right now he had a paper on Hamlet to write. He sighed as Ryuichi sat down next to him. About an hour into the ride Laylee handed Tohma her work book. Causing Shuichi to look up, highlighter between his teeth. He observed what was going on before going back to his work.

Tohma looked over Laylee's work. She had done most of it, he smiled reading through it. That was one think that Laylee had that Shuichi didn't, she was an academic...when she wasn't getting in fights. He nodded putting the work book away. Laylee smiled as well before she laid down curling up on her side with her head in Tohma's lap. He gentle ran his fingers through her hair. After about 15 minutes she was out.

"Finally" SHuichi said softly looking at her. Laylee had sleep problems, there where weeks where the girl would only sleep one or two hours a night, she had nightmares, they kept her up. She never wanted to talk about them.

"One of those weeks?" Tohma asked softly looking at the golden head resting in his lap.

"It's been one of those weeks for the last 3 weeks. I've been waiting for her to crash" he said, when Laylee would have insomniac weeks she always crashed and ended up sleeping for 12 or 18 hours. Since they had plans to just go straight to the hotel room, when they got to Tokyo her crashing was perfect.

"When will you go see Eiri?" he asked, this caused Ryuichi to pay attention to their conversation. Shuichi sighed looking between both men.

"Tomorrow" he said, "I thought maybe you two could have some Blond Time" Over the last 6 years he'd become more use to Tohma's presence, he'd even called the other man on occasion. He knew that laylee depended on Tohma, for some reason. And while Shuichi and he would never be friends, he knew he could trust him with Laylee.

The next two and half hours went by with nothing of even happening. Shuichi worked on his paper, after he got board he worked on putting the final touches on the 'Laylee Book' he was going to give it to Yuki when he saw him later.

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Once they arrived in Tokyo, Tohma carried the sleeping Laylee, who woke slightly but only to wrap her arms around his neck and snuggle her face into his shoulder. Shuichi carried his bag and her backpack, and Ryuichi took care of the rest. They got the Tohma's car without any trouble. Which was good the last thing they need was stories of Laylee being Tohma's illagitament love child.

As they drove, Laylee started to whimper in her sleep holding her stomach. Shuichi ran his fingers through her hair in the back seat as he softly sang to her.

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I don't know what real any more

I know I love you

But I have to wonder

Am I just in wonderland

Chorus:sysysysys

Did I fall down the hole

If so I don't think I'll ever go back

I've found a place here

With all these out casts

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I hold you tight

We watch the leaves change

The colors swirl

And worl

I have to wonder

chorus

I can't seem to care

if this is real

or if it's just make-believe

all I know is that

I never want to let you go

I'll hold on

Until the end

chorus

I know I'll hit the ground

but when I do

I want you to be their

be my outcast

never change

chorus

Because I know your place

It's in wonderland

With all the magic

That seemed to calm her slightly. Ryuichi tiredly looked at them from the front passengers seat.

"I think she just ate a little to much cake" Shuichi said seeing his idols worry, "she probably crashed from to much sugar" Ryuichi nodded at that comment. It wasn't uncommon for the girl to be sick after her birthday party. Every year Shuichi would say he wasn't going to let her eat that much cake again, and yet every year she ate even more cake.

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Once they arrived at the hotel, Shuichi carried Laylee up to the penthouse sweet. Ryuichi was treating for the stay. As he got Laylee ready for bed, Tohma set out all of the toiletry stuff. It was one of the weird things he did. But, shuichi let him do it because it meant less he had to do. Shuichi frowned slightly as he pulled Yuki's old button down over Laylee's head. She really was starting to look bad, worse them normal. He decided to sleep in here with her tonight. Tohma put a glass of water, and a glass of ice on the night stand. Shuichi snorted softly at that, Tohma knew exactly how Laylee set up her room before bed.

Unlike Shuichi, for Laylee everything had a place. If it was out of it's place she tended to freak out. Sakito said it was a form of OCD/OCPD, Laylee felt everything had to be in its place, and in certain numbers for a few. Like her night stand, it was always set up the same glass of water closest to the bed, glass of ice to the right of it behind them her black bunny, named Clock-chan sat. At her desk, their were four books of the same size stacked so that she could read the titles on her right, on her left was 4 pencils, 2 erasers, and her heart clock, turned just enough for her to see the face from her chair. She would insist on the door being closed if she was in a room, she always had to have her back to a wall when she was sitting. Sometimes she'd go into little fits about things, Ryuichi called it her mind running away.

Right now the therapy was just talk and stop thought. Simply put when her mind would run away she would say stop to herself to stop the thoughts. It was actually Tohma that seemed to be helping her the most. Ryuichi informed him that Tohma when he was younger had pretty bad OCPD. While he still had it, it was more controlled. Tohma didn't have a melt down when things didn't go according to planned. Shuichi was pulled form his thoughts by Tohma leaving the room. Shuichi fallowed after him, so that they could talk about when he would pick Laylee up tomorrow. As well as they would be doing.

"I think I will be by at 9. Perhaps I'll take her by NG, and then to my house. She can meet her aunt Mika" He said looking at Shuichi.

"Wait on the Mika thing until I give you a call will you. I don't want this getting back to Yuki before I've talked to him." Shuichi said, he nodded before bidding both adult a good night.

Once he was gone, both men looked at the clock, it was only 930. Ryuichi sat down in front of the TV with Kumagoro, while Shuichi set up his drawling things at the table closest to Laylee's door. Something didn't feel right, his mother's intuition was telling him so. For about an hour the only sound was the soft hum of the TV, and the movement of Shuichi's pencil on paper. At 1045, they decided that bed was the best option. Shuichi had a big and trying day in front of him. He quickly dressed for bed, and laid down next to Laylee. She had curled up in a ball, it was strange for her to sleep like that, Shuichi's sleepy brain brushed it off as part of her crash/sugar coma.

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Shuichi woke up around 4 in the morning. It took him a moment to realize what had woken. Laylee was crying and curled up into herself. The smell hit him next, she was sick, she'd probably thrown up over the side of the bed. He sat up and pulled her into his arms, trying to calm her. How ever, the minute he had her in his arms he noticed he was hot. He picked her up going to the bathroom. He put the bunny shaped thermometer into her mouth and gently rocked back and forth with her on his hip. It was slightly acward but right now he didn't care. He pulled the thermometer out of her mouth when he beeped. He looked at the reading and started to panic, 40.3 degrees Celsius (104.5 Fahrenheit).

"Oh not good" he said, "RYUICHI" he yelled out the door. The sleepy burnet poked his head out his door.

"Laylee's sick, we need to get her to the hospital" Shuichi said looking at him as Laylee threw up again. Ryuichi was instantly awake, he quickly dressed while Shuichi changed his shirt and grabbed Laylee's coat. They where out the door in minutes heading for the car that Tohma left there for their use.

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Yuki grounded as his phone rang. He looked at the clock as he grabbed it, it was 430 am. who ever this was had better have a damn good reason for calling. He flipped the phone open and brought it to his ear.

"Hello?" he asked annoyed beyond reason.

"This is Trinity Hospital, looking for Mr. Eiri Uesugi" a polite voice said

"This is he, what do you want at this ungodly hour" he snipped, the hospital name sounded familiar, his sleep bogged brain couldn't remember why.

"Sorry sir, we have it marked though that you requested to know whenever One Shuichi Shindou is involved in the admitting of a patient" she said calmly, this had Yuki sitting up bolt straight, it was the hospital that Shuichi was always taken too.

"What's wrong with him?" He asked standing up and starting to pull cloths out.

"He wasn't the one admitted, he admitted one Laylee Uesugi about 15 minutes ago." She said, he just about dropped the phone at that comment. He quickly hung up and dressed. He was out the door and in his car in record time.

He arrived about the same time Tohma did. Both blonds stopped at the entrance staring at each other. Yuki felt his anger ignite, Tohma had known this whole time.

"Now is not the time" Tohma said calm before rushing ahead of him into the hospital, someone had to warn Shuichi that the irate father was here...before he got to Shuichi.

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Shuichi was sitting in the waiting room his head down staring into his cup of coffee. Ryuichi had gone back to the hotel to get a few things for them. He looked up as he head a slight scuffle. He just about dropped his coffee at the site before him. Tohma in a very untohma like manner had shut the door on someone's hand. That someone being one Eiri Yuki. he stood and walked over to the two men, putting himself between them, her eyes hard and ready to demand answers.

Yuki growled as a small man placed himself before him and Tohma. He stopped growling though as he took in the small man. He came to a little under his chin, and while most of his hair was black the roots seemed to be a brighter color...light pink in fact.

"Shuichi?" he breathed, watching as the man turned to face him. He found himself staring into his lover deep purple eyes. He without thinking grabbed Shuichi and pulled him close away from Tohma.

"Yuki..." Shuichi said softly melting into the embrace that made him whole again.

"Shuichi...what happened?" Tohma asked after clearing his throat. Shuichi slowly pulled himself from the embrace, he turned looking at Tohma feeling Yuki keep an arm around his should.

"Appendicitis" Shuichi said offering Tohma a small half smile. He seemed to relax at that and nodded himself. They all sat down in the uncomfortable chairs, and Shuichi watched Yuki closely. If there was ever a time that Shuichi deserved to be yelled at by the novelist it was now. Yuki caught the look and raised an eyebrow at the look. Shuichi opened his mouth to ask something but was cut off by Ryuichi showing up with his school bag.

Shuichi gave him a nod as he took the bag. Yuki watched as he pulled out a laptop and a few books. He slipped on his glasses, and flipped open on of the books while the laptop powered up.

"When did you start wearing glasses?" Yuki asked, almost wanting to kick himself at the question, it had been 12 years. Shuichi laughed softly looking at him.

"I forget sometimes how self conscious I was," he laughed, "I've had them since I was a kid. Never wore them around anymore because I use to get made fun of for them" Yuki thought about it, he never had seen the pink teen read anything.

"Shu-chan should work on his paper" Ryuichi said looking at Shuichi, breaking the moment between the two men. Shuichi sighed but, nodded opening his paper, and then flipping open Hamlet. They all sat in silent for the next hour or so, before a doctor came out asking for parents of Laylee Uesugi. Shuichi stood up fast going over Yuki fallowing after him. The doctor explained that everything went well. There had been a small blunder in the transferring her to the operating table by on the interns. Her wrist had been broken but it was being set and casted right now. They where free to go back to recovery and sit with her, as were her uncles.

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They walked back into the recovery ward, and over to her bed. Yuki stopped taking in what was in front of him. Looking much to small in the large hospital bed was a small golden haired girl, she had a few streaks of pink in it. He slowly walked up to the bed.

Shuichi and the others stood back and watched as Yuki sat down on the bed. He slowly brushed a few stands of hair out of her face. Her eyes slowly started to flutter, and opened slowly. Yuki looking into those beautiful eyes.

"Daddy..." she said softly, her hand reaching to touch him not believing what she was seeing, "my wish came true this year"

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and that's it the end...well maybe not i mean how much trouble can one kid cause


	14. AN: the Sequel

ok, guys the sequel is up, it starts before the epilogue. so don't get confused, also i maybe doing a few little one shots about Laylee, as well.

Now, it will be a little slower going then this last one. I'm prepping for Ethics Bowl for this next few weeks. and i've got a full class load. but it will be continued this is one idea i know i can run with. so enjoy, leave reviews, so on and so forth.

the new title is Being an Adult, Becoming a Parent

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Please go to my profile and vote, i really want to see what you guys the readers, think Laylee would be passionate about.


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